June 22, 2011

Baby Hacking Our Way Through Sky Mall

Our whirlwind trip to Illinois is complete. What were we doing there? Laura's family does a big family reunion around her great grandmother's birthday. This year, it was an even bigger occasion, as she was turning 100. You can (and should) accuse me of many things, but never accuse me of being callous enough to skip my great grandmother-in-law's 100th birthday, even if it requires taking my 6 month old son on his first plane trip.

When it comes to parenting, I am an idea man. I even have a snappy name for my unorthodox parenting techniques: I call them baby hacks, a name which never fails to provoke terrifying mental imagery for everybody around me.

With all the modesty in the world, I must admit that I came up with my greatest baby hack yet on the airplane. Shortly after we sat down, August started to squirm and hoot. Had I been thinking ahead, I would've brought along infant sudoku or something similarly engrossing. Not having any of that, I did the next best thing: I handed him a copy of Sky Mall.

He proceeded to do exactly what I've always wanted to do to Sky Mall: he ripped it to shreds. His hatred for Sky Mall was so strong, he not only tore up that one copy; he actually tore up a copy of all 4 flights we were on. It wasn't a frenzy of tearing either. He tore each page and wadded it up, then waited for me to turn to the page. The only thing missing was a maniacal laugh after he tore out each page.

On the one hand, I applaud him for his anti-materialistic gusto. On the other hand, if he feels this strongly about Sky Mall, I have no idea where I'll get him an $800 novelty suit of armor.

Posted by Cody at June 22, 2011 8:08 PM